Relative Reality

When a family member or a far-fetched relative or far-far-far fetched otherwise non-existent relative, or maybe Papa’s friends come to know that I am becoming a doctor, here’s a list of sequence wise expressions I hear from them.

These dialogues are in order of the way they are always, always and always spoken- I bet! And below them are the things that my mind wants to say and what I actually have to say... 

Relative's Dialogue1

Ma, Baap ka naam roshan kar diya. Apke bachey toh bohot hoshiyaar hain. Beta, kitne ghante padhai karte the? Khaane me kuch special bhi lete the kya?

What goes on my mind: 

Haha! Have I done something great? Is it something honourable passing a damned freak exam that tests our memory or to be specific, our rattafication-capability, The Great Indian Pre Medical Test. Maybe when I become a doctor in real, I would love this kind of adulation for myself. For 
now, treat me like a normal kid, will you?

What I actually do: I smile coyly. And my dad has a proud grin on his face.

Relative's Dialogue2 

Beta hamare ladke ko kuch samjhao, din bhar painting karta rehta hai, kehta hai NIFT jaunga. Isko bolo Science aur Maths pe dhyan dega, vele kaamo mein nahin!

 What goes on my mind: Yeah, yeah yeah...as if I am a career counsellor created by God in a day! Give me and your poor child a break! Let him do what he wants to do! Why bother both of us? Get a life of your own for yourself too uncle ji!

What I actually do: I make a fake compassionate face for him. I force myself to agree what a poor dad he is. His son is a person who follows his heart not his father.

Relative's Dialogue3
Acha beta, meri tang me dard hai 2 mahine se. Kuch batao? Ilaaj hai?

(My dad looks at me expectedly in the meanwhile.)

What goes on my mind: <I am blank> Seriously, I am B L A N K.

What I actually do: I  put my hand on his aching leg, and press it firmy. I utter-oh. Then I stay silent for 2 minutes. Then with a tense look I say, Uncle consult a good orthopedic! 2 months is a long time. You need immediate medical attention! Kaam khatam! ;-)



To be continued...